night weaning a stubborn toddler

jlsimon56

Title for mobile users: night weaning a stubborn toddler

My LO wakes 1-2x per night to nurse.  Nursing sessions last 30 minutes, sometimes less, usually more. 

She is 16.5mo.  She goes to daycare with DH (I leave for work before she's awake) and I collect her at 4pm.  She nurses then.  We eat dinner at 6pm.  She rarely eats much, if anything.  We don't push it.  We offer variety as well as her old stand-bys (25/75 mix). 

Then she gets her bath (with me) then lotion/PJs then she nurses again, around 7pm.  Then we do quiet play as a family, then DH or I will read stories and rock her, put her in her bed awake at 8pm. 

If it's one wakeup, it's around 1am.  If it's 2 wakeups, they are 11pm and 3am.  The last 4 days have been 2 wakeups.  No teeth are coming in that I can see (canines are next).  She has a snotty nose and a bit of a cough, but no fever, etc.

She sleeps with footy PJs and a fleece sleepsack.  She is, and always was, more comfortable when warmer. 

Ok so now that I've given you all her backstory...... 

DH wants her to wean so she will STTN.  He has wanted me to wean her for 2+ months now but I love it so I haven't really pushed it.  On weekends, she nurses often - 6-8x per day.  She is 60th percentile for height and weight, so a good solid child.  But, she doesn't eat much.  We did BLW with her and she just has never really showed much interest in food.  DH thinks she will eat more FOOD if she's weaned.  And, that she would STTN. 

I am on kellymom now....not really seeing anything helpful other than, every kid is different, blah blah.  My motto has always been, "It's only a problem when it's a problem" and honestly until now, it's been ok.  But she's almost 1.5 and I can't do 4 hours of sleep a night anymore.  I'm tired.

My goal is to BF her through the winter/cold months.  So be finished once spring arrives.  This has always been my ultimate goal, from newborn stage, so I am ok with this.  Based on that....how should I be going about this? 

DH thinks I should drop the 4pm after-daycare session so she eats more at dinner.  Eating more at dinner would mean she'd stay full through the night (DH thinks she wakes at night due to hunger).  I am reading on kellymom that she may be missing me b/c I work (insert mom-guilt here), so she would wake anyway.

We have tried having DH go to her in the night and she throws her body against the sides of her crib and SCREAMS.  Blood-curdling screams.  So he gets me and I nurse her (is she old enough to have this be a learned response?).  If I go in but refuse to nurse, she does the same thing.  The other night, she and I were up from 11pm-1am until DH said NURSE HER ALREADY.  I nursed her and when she finished, she asked to go back in her crib and fell asleep. 

I realize this got long.  I am at a loss.  Thanks for any advice.  I googled Dr. Jay the other day based on another post (which is why I tried denying her the other night) and it didn't go as well as the info said it would!

Thanks.