WWYD - Struggling

tyler&maggie

DS is 6.5wks and was 6lbs 12oz at birth.

Saw LC at 10 days b/c of severe pain when nursing. Was diagnosed w/"nipple trauma" (cracks/fissures), LC said DS had lost weight b/c his mouth was too small and he needed to grow to latch properly so we finger fed/bottle fed expressed milk using preemie nipple for about two weeks.

At 3wks DS passed his birth weight. We kept attempting nursing 2-3 times/day (w/and w/o nipple shield).

At 5wks I thought we had it but then  cracks re-opened. Went back to the LC & she thinks problem isn't his latch but his upper lip. It's "tight" and doesn't move freely when he nurses - so he's basically chomping at the breast causing damage/pain. She recommended a PT and we have an appt to see PT next week - the earliest we can get in.

At this point, I can really only nurse 3 times a day but I dread it b/c it's so, so painful. I'm hoping the PT can help b/c I don't know where we'd go next or how much longer I can keep pumping/bottle feeding (it's so time-consuming it feels like it's robbing me of time w/my son and H).

I found bfing support groups to attend which have helped but I think I'm reaching my breaking point. I'm tired of crying about this. I'm tired of pumping. I want to BF but feel like I'm at the point where I need to determine the benefits of DS getting breastmilk vs. a sustainable routine so I can be healthy both mentally and physically.

I have a very supportive H/family/pediatrician who are all on board w/BF or FF...it's essentially my call at this point but I want to make sure that we've truly tried everything before I give up.

Thoughts? Something I haven't thought of? Thanks so much and thanks for reading...