can't feel letdown

3litttlebirds

I think I have an overactive letdown...based on forceful spray and quickly filling up bottle during pumping, plus LO coughs/chokes during BF'ing. However, I don't feel my letdown when he is nursing, so I can't judge when to take him off to avoid the force. Randomly through the day, I feel a "lightening" type feeling that I have seen others describe as letdown, but it's not associated with me leaking and it doesn't happen during nursing. 

So I was thinking I could pump for a bit through the forceful spray before attempting BF'ing with DS...but I also think I have an oversupply, so I don't want to make that worse. I do recline while BF'ing, but DS still seems to have difficulty with the flow/volume. Are there any other options...anything else I should be doing?