People's reactions to husband's reaction... please advise!

heatherroneous

Hi, dads.  I hope you don't mind me posting in your board, but I need some advice for my DH.  People seem to be judging him / giving him unwanted advice JUST because he's not acting 'excited enough' about our pregnancy. 

 

My DH has always been the type of dude to take things in stride.  He doesn't really get worked up over much of anything - which is fine, because I get worked up over everything and he centers me.  When I told him I was pregnant, he was happy, but he didn't cry or jump up and down or shower me with admiration.   I know he's not going to tear up when we hear the heartbeat for the first time, or go through some sort of emotional epiphany at the birth of our child.  He loves me, we planned and want this baby, and he loves his child.  I know and understand and accept his easygoing attitude, but it's the rest of the world that's the problem.

 

His friends and coworkers seem to think something's wrong with him when he doesn't act all mushy-gushy over the baby, and so they start to 'comfort' him - "It'll all change when you hold your baby for the first time.  You'll have this epiphany and your whole world will shift."  Et cetera, et cetera.  They just go on and on.  And on.  It annoys him, because it makes him feel inadequate.  It annoys me, because how dare you make my husband feel that way for no reason (even if their intentions are good).  We both know that he's not necessarily going to have some sort of magical moment when the baby's born, but that doesn't mean he loves it any less!

 

What I don't understand is, he's already said multiple times that he's excited about the child and about fatherhood.  He's always wanted children, and people who know him are aware of that.  So what else are they expecting?

 

Anyway, yesterday he asked me for advice on how to handle these people, and I couldn't really come up with anything good.  I told him he had to either let their comments roll off his shoulders or stop talking with other people about the baby (which isn't desirable, because he is excited about it and does want to talk about it).  Or try and act more excited on the outside (which isn't him at all).  I think he feels awkward when they start saying stuff like that because he doesn't know how to respond. 

 

Any advice for my laid-back DH?