New here and overwhelmed

turtlebiscuit

Hi ladies, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now and just needed an outlet. A little back story, I am 20 weeks pregnant and am about as sure as I am ever going to be that leaving my H is the best (albeit very hard) decision for me.  We have been together for 7 years and this is our first child.  There have always been trust issues in our relationship and he will not relent in his refusal to go to counseling (I have been seeing someone myself for awhile now). 

About a week ago - the day we found out that baby is a boy - he emailed his ex-wife telling her that he wanted to come home and that he was "not ok;" that he was not sure what was going on between them and he is not getting any younger.  This came 3 DAYS after I found an email to a prostitute asking if she had any spare time to meet.  I am just over the constant anxiety of wondering if he is cheating on me and I do not want my son growing up thinking that this is acceptable behavior. Flame away for the snooping around on my part....

I am taking some time to go and visit my family on the east coast (which he has taken to referring to as me abandoning him) and to just regroup for awhile but wanted to get any insight you wise, wise women may have.