Overwhelmed & Defeated

November3Love

So, my BIL is a 2-time ex-con who, (orchestrated by MIL with the cooperation of DH & reluctantly, myself) BIL had his parole moved from the state he served time in to the state we recently moved to so that he could reside with his for his parole. He was living here for my last trimester & I explained that I wasn't comfortable with BIL still there after I had DS; too much of a liability (bringing home random girls, lying, stealing, coming in & out whenever, driving without a license, smoking ? in the house, drinking... the worst for me was the random people & the unstable behaviors).

I share this with DH & MIL; she said: "Oh, don't be ridiculous. He'll be an asset: change diapers & whatnot." I disagreed (also wasn't comfortable with BIL alone with DS, let alone changing his diapers). Well, DS wasn't even 1 month old yet when BIL got arrested. BILs story about what happened doesn't make any sense. I said 'That's it. No more. He can't live with us again. It's too much. It's not a good environment for DS.'

The other day people came looking for BIL. I was afraid of this. Now, MIL (knowing where I stand) is writing letters trying to get BIL into a 'program' that's 6 months in-patient/ 6 months out-patient in the county DH & I live in. Insinuating that we support BIL entering this program & he would stay here for his out-patient portion. I am livid. I can't keep doing this with MIL: I have said No-this is my home where I live & am raising my son & am trying to nurture my marriage. NO! & DH is taking the approach of 'This is my little brother-I can't just let him be on the street.' He proposed writing a contract for BIL that says he'd have a set time limit to live here. I said 'No-no contract will hold anything with him-if he wants to stay, he'll guilt you into letting him because it's already happened.'

I just don't know what to do. I have no idea where to go from here. I feel like DH is more concerned with doing right by MIL than what is right for our family & MIL & BIL is taking advantage of it. It's having an affect & it's not good.

Sorry it's so long-I just had to get that out.