Not excited like most.

skylily

I feel very wrong. For a little while it was exciting to come up with names and think about he/she will look. And I was feeling a little bit of excitement about possibly seeing my baby on the monitor at our first ultrasound....

But 99% of the time I'm upset about having to get checked out. I am more concerned about spreading my legs and dreading my next appointment because they are going to stick a wand inside me than I am about seeing the baby on the monitor now. 

Am I going to be a bad mom? My own mom thinks I'll be much more excited when the baby starts moving and the fear subsides but all I feel right now is fear. My husband is ecstatic and I'm putting on a smile for him but really all I"m thinking about is how I don't want to get checked out. 

Am I alone?