Vent/ need help

krissi813

My 8-week-old is refusing the bottle. He took a few bottles since he was 4 weeks old but then, two weeks ago, he flat out refused and starting crying hysterically when we tried. He took only 1 1/2 bottles since then. One was when we switched from breast to bottle mid-feeding and one was a random time when he wasn't really acting hungry but I figured I would give it a try since he would be hungry soon. Well, both those tricks and all the other ones will not work anymore. Today we tried feeding breast milk from measuring spoons - he ate but was still not satisfied. Ughh - I don't know what else to try. Honestly, if I didn't have to go back to work then this wouldn't even be a big deal.

Now this is where I get depressed. I actually feel guilty and selfish for breastfeeding in the first place. Now that DS is used to being with me almost every second of every day, I am trying to completely change everything and give him a bottle and confuse everything he knows. Four weeks from now, I will be gone from his life for 11 hours a day. How cruel to make him so attached to me only to take away everything that makes him comfortable and so secure. 

Obviously I am extremely guilty about going back to work. I really do not want to but I have to. It makes me sick. I feel like I should have planned this better, should have just formula fed in the first place so that he would be more comfortable with others and not so attached to me. I know breastmilk is best but maybe I should have just known that it was incompatible with our lifestyle. 

 So now I still have to figure out how DS will eat when I go back to work. I am also worried that once he does take a bottle, maybe I should just quit nursing altogether because it will confuse him too much to go back and forth since it has been this hard already? I guess I will haVe to EP although it really is not something I want to do (but I spent so much damn money on breastpumps).  

Thanks for reading. I'm just feeling really down right now. Recommendations welcome.