Breastfeeding Anxiety...(unloading/vent)

andrea ri 80

Worrying about pregnancy stuff is sooo passee :  I literally loose sleep over this and just feel the need to unload....and I feel silly for getting ahead of myself...maybe I should wait until I have a *hopefully* healthy baby before I stress about this....

I am haunted by my epic failure at breastfeeding my son.  I basically starved him for a month, he fell below his birthweight at 1 month old, was dehydrated, and never stopped crying....this after he had good weight gain at his first three ped appointments...

Yes, I saw and spoke with numerous LCs...I fed him on-demand, I was basically nursing him around the clock (every hour on the hour for an hour) and I couldn't deliver the goods. 

And I know that the breastfeeding advocates mean well, but the breast is best campaign left me feeling like a real low life too.

Anybody else in the same position?  Are you going to try to BF again?  Are you going to try to do anything different?