Supplementing breaks my heart, but

cpete5

I wanted so badly to EBF, but at one month, my baby was still below his birth weight and was diagnosed failure to thrive. My doctor strongly suggested supplementing with formula, and after a lot of tears and heartbreak, we did what we thought was best for the health of my baby and started supplementing.

Every time he was fed formula, I pumped to keep up my supply. It worked - kind of. I still don't produce what he needs but am doing the best I can, and am still pumping after he eats to encourage higher production.

Fast forward to today. He's getting about 4-8 oz formula a day, and the rest from me. At 11 weeks, he's 12 pounds and eating 30-32 oz a day.

I still cringe when I make a bottle of formula. Why can't I get over this? He's getting an overwhelming majority of milk from me, yet I feel like a complete failure. Some moms on here make it sound so effortless, and I am sick with jealousy.

Sorry to vent. Tough day I guess.