My mom is driving me crazy/VENT

CBomback

Is anyone else having problems with their mothers and their involvement in their lives during pregnancy?

My mom has been starting a huge fight with me about once a week for the last month, and it is really driving me crazy.  I am trying to involve her because I know it makes her happy, and this is going to be her first grandchild.  Also, she feels incredibly competitive with my in-laws, even though she knows I don't have the best relationship with them.  It's just that our family is really small, and my DH has 3 older brothers who have 8 children between them. So, I thought that only involving her and not inviting my MIL to go shopping with us would make my mom feel like she was "winning" something.

We just moved out of NYC to the suburbs so that we could afford to have a 2nd bedroom for the baby, so on top of the exhaustion of pregnancy, I now have a long commute to and from a full-time, often stressful, long-hour job.

Last week we had a huge blow-out fight because we went to Buy Buy Baby together to start figuring our my registry, and she was totally negative about anything that did not exist when she gave birth to me and my sister 30 years ago.  We ended up fighting for 3 days about the necessity of a Boppy pillow.  I don't understand why she wouldn't want me to have something that could make my life easier as a new mother!  It's just a pillow, but she attached the whole idea as if it deeply offended her that there could be such a pillow that would position the baby in a comfortable way for nursing.  My dad eventually stepped in and told her to apologize.

This week she is upset because I missed a phone call from her yesterday when I was at work and didn't call her back after work (because I know she goes out with her girlfriends on Wednesday nights). She sent me a really nasty, overreacting email after the time I was in bed with the phone off last night saying that I was cutting her out of my life and that I should just go do everything with my MIL.  I know she had been drinking before writing that email, and it really bothers me, since she wants to be so involved, is this the example that I want my child to witness?

I am so stressed out between her and still having to hide it at work (waiting to have a raise confirmed before I tell). I just don't know how to deal with her - she is at the very least preparing me for the types of temper tantrums I will have to face as a mother.

Has anyone else experienced such strong behavioral changes from a close family member? Any advice?