Problems bonding?

kurisuchin_dono

My LO is 12 weeks old now and I still haven't bonded with her. My problem is I was really wanting a boy and was crushed when I found out I was having a girl. I thought when she was born I would of course forget about my feelings of this, but I'm having trouble bonding. My first born is a boy and he will be 2 this month. I had trouble bonding with him at first. I had trouble with postpartum depression. But this time around it's hitting me really hard. I've tried talking to friends and family, but all they are doing is getting mad at me and pretty much are telling me to snap out of it. I'm feeling really alone here!! I have been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder, so I think this may also be why I'm feeling the way I am. I saw a therapist today and I'm seeing her again on Friday, but is that really going to help? I feel like a hate my own kid and I also feel horrible for that, but I don't know what else to do. And I can't just snap out of it. I should also put that I've had suicidal thoughts too, but I know that's a stupid option! Is anyone going through this or have been through this?? I would really like to know what you have done to deal with this feeling!! Help!!!