pump at work-ers and formula supplementers...advice?

RTaylor12

So, I think I killed my milk supply and I need some advice. If this gets long, I apologize in advance.

A little backstory: My original plan for going back to work was to quit BFing and put DD entirely on formula. I wasn't stoked about the idea of pumping at work, and I just thought it would be easier on my mom and MIL, who watch her while DH and I are both working. So at the beginning of Sept, (I started back at work on the 15th) I began giving her a formula bottle per day for a week. Then the second week, I began giving her two bottles a day. I wasn't pumping or anything, since my intention at the time was to wean and I wanted to do it slowly so I wasn't engorged at work. Jump to Sept 13, two days before I'm due back at work. I had an emotional breakdown that lasted all day. I was so unbelievably sad about quitting nursing. I had been in denial about going back to work and it all hit me at once. I decided, if I wasn't going to be there with her during the day, then I was going to at least continue BFing so we would still have that bond in the morning and at night.

Needless to say, my supply tanked during the two weeks I was giving her formula bottles. I'm still producing, and I'm pumping like mad, taking Fenugreek, eating oats, etc. Still, I don't think my supply has recovered, and pumping rather than BFing directly when I'm at work hasn't helped in that regard. I pump 2-3 times at work and get about 2-3 oz each time I pump. It's obviously not enough to feed DD while I'm gone, so we've been supplementing 1-2 formula bottles per day. I BF in the mornings, at night, and on my days off.

Now, my main question is how to know whether I should be supplementing formula after I BF on my days off. Since my supply took a dive, I'm not sure if she's getting enough from me. I've heard many times that a baby does a more efficient job of getting milk out, but HOW much more? I mean, if I'm only pumping 3 oz does that mean she's getting 4? 5? I try to watch for her cues to tell me if she needs more after BFing, but I feel as though I'm flying blind. In the morning, my breasts feel very full, so I'm pretty sure she's getting enough during that feed. They never regain that same fullness during the day, and she seems to be fussier on the breast during her daytime feeds. Sometimes after detaching, she cries, so I give 2 oz of formula and it seems to satisfy her. Sometimes, she just whines, and after comforting her, she no longer seems hungry, so I don't supplement and drive myself crazy wondering if I should have.

I'm getting to the point that I'm thinking of going the all-formula route again. Every time she pulls off the breast crying, I feel like a miserable failure. I know that some breastmilk is better than none, but I don't know if this is worth my sanity. I still really enjoy BFing and I don't want to give it up, but if she's not getting enough from me I can't help but think, what's the point?

Sorry so long. Ugh. Please help! (Even if you have no advice, some words of encouragement would be great too!)