Needing some motivation-vent

pinitbaby

I have desperately been waiting for this nesting thing to kick in again, I had it around 30 weeks and now I'm 36 and my energy level is chit. I have sooo much to do, not as far as the nursery, thats already done-just needs a vacuum. I have clothes to put away in my room, there's things that have to go to goodwill, the sink is full of dishes AGAIN, theres an amoire in my front hall that needs to be moved downstairs into my daughters room but its sooo heavy theres no way I can do it alone and laundry of course. I know I sound really whiny but I'm a single mum, ready to pop out this baby (its my fourth), I'm sick of having no energy.

My older kids are from a relationship of 12yrs and their dad lives 3.5hrs away and like never see's them anymore. He fills my daughters head with empty promises, he told her last week he wanted to come get her for thanksgiving which is oct.9th here i believe, so she has been so excited to go and he sends me an email yesterday saying he wont be getting her bc hes "not celebrating thanksgiving". W.T.F. Its bc of his gf who can't handle the fact that he had kids from before her. I had to go get them early last xmas bc she was freaking out saying he only cares about HIIS kids and not her son and the one daughter they share. I had to go get them 2 weeks early this past august bc she flipped out again. He tells the kids ( who are 13, 10 and 7) hes gonna take them places and get them things then he totally goes back on his words and i'm the one who has to deal with the tears and upsets and feel like the bad one.

This babys father I had met 2 yrs after I left my exh, thought he was great, had his own house and was a hard worker..I got pregnant and then at my 20th week I found out he was seeing someone else. So i packed up my kids and we moved back into my house-luckily I had a lease and still had my own home. I haven't heard ONE word from him. Not asking how the pregnancy is going or if baby needs anything. i have gotten everything we need over the months. He's been telling everyone that I packed up and left...LMAO. What a coward!!! And now the girl he cheated on me with is pregnant and "hes gonna be a great father". I really don't know whats worse..having a BD that gives half-assed attempts and causes damage or having a BD that just isn't there all together and will still cause damage?? I'm just so sick of it all..thought i was done with all this crap when I left the first jaackasss. i am usually a positive person, my exh was abusive and even 3 yrs later Im working on making myself a better person and mother so I've overcome alot to get where we are and just to be shut down again now with a new baby just breaks my heart. These kids dont deserve this. I'm getting my tubes severed after this baby so I don't ever have to deal with these deadbeats again, no more babies to be hurt!!

Sorry this was kind of random, i just needed to get it out somehow..thanks.