Rough couple of days...

tinyteeth

I had some bleeding and some significant lower back pain Wednesday after a crazy day of work and called my RE immediately. She told me to come in first thing in the AM for ultrasound. (side note--the receptionist forgot to check me in and I waited for almost an hour crying and feeling like I was going to vomit from my nerves...thanks lady). Plus DH is across the country visiting one of his best friends, a trip he has waiting over 3 years to take...so I was alone. RE got me back and ultrasound showed 2 embryonic sacs...sac1/baby A looked good (for a tiny grain of rice, lol) sac2/baby B looked not good. The sac looked a little cloudy and not as crisp as it's neighbor. Doc said that I was likely losing baby B as the sac was filling with fluid/blood. She feels like this is where my bleeding and cramps are coming from. She was optimistic that baby A looks good and should not be affected by this. Next appt is sept 5, where we will hopefully hear the heartbeat. I was crushed and excited all at the same time, such a mix of emotions...I just wish I could let go and be a happy, excited pregnant woman. But from reading other posts I am afraid that I will always be looking ahead to that next scan or next bloodwork, then God willing, if I can finally hold the baby in my arms I will probably worry about someone stealing him from the nursery...lol. I guess this is the life of a mother, even in the beginning. I, like everyone else here, just pray for a healthy baby. Also, I should be on an airplane right now for my long awaited vacation in Destin, but it got cancelled thanks to hurricane Isaac. Clearly this is insignificant compared to the babies...just icing on the "what a sh*tty week" cake!