XP: Decisions, Decisions. DOR-OE vs. DE

glueck

Lovely ladies,I have posted this on IF board where I am a permanent resident. Perhaps I might get another perspective from the ladies on this board. After failed IVF1 (major infection from EC) and failed IVF2 (ovulated before retrieval), MH and I are currently in Prague to collected information on DE IVF, which is something we were feeling very good about. We should begin IVF3 stims on Sunday, and we hoped to decide whether to move ahead with IVF 3 with OE or to plan DE IVF in the fall.I know that not a one of you could ever tell me what to decide nor would you, but I need some serious help. MH and I are suffering a bit. MH and I are 35. Young in both IVF and especially in DE IVF years. Realities are realities and FSH scores are indeed FSH scores. No arguments from me.We had a wonderful doctor consult in Prague today. Wonderful and horribly confusing for us. The doctor was kind, empathetic and very thorough. When I told her of my IF history as well as my recent fsh last month of 26, she definitely understood why we were there. IF, as many of you know, is not a straight descending line into the great abyss that we  who want babies call menopause. Last month my afc was 4. Today when I had an u/s in her office (CD1 coincidentally), it was a glorious AFC of NINE. NINE! She said if it were her, if I have a good price arrangement with OE IVF plan presently, she would continue on that path. If it failed, then she would advise DE IVF. I prayed secretly that the AFC would be again 3 or 4, and our decision would be clear. Its anything but clear.We have one more doctor consult tomorrow with the clinic we walked into on a whim yesterday and loved after speaking with the lovely ivf coordinator. Maybe another opinion will help? I don't know. In the meantime, its CD1 and I have started femara (I take should take it CD1-5 before stims begin on CD5) and I have my appt in Switzerland on Friday on CD3 for a baseline with my home RE.Of course money plays into this as we, like most of us here, are OOP for everything. We have a nice arrangement with our home clinic for 3 banking cycles (now 2, after the early ovulation debacle)  and a FET in Dec. For this SAME amount of money, we can do a DE IVF.  It will likely take a a year to save up again in case of a failure. We want our family sooner than later, but its about the child as much as its about us, and we want to feel like we did everything we could. I know there are no guarantees. There is no crystal ball. I just need some perspective, because unless a woman has faced IF, there is no way she can ever get the magnitude of this decision.RIght now I can only hear, "AFC is NIIIIIINNNNNEEEE! Its a goooooooood month" and I can only think that I can always try DE but my eggs have to be now. The flip side of the coin is how much longer I want to wait to have a real shot to begin our family.If you were firmly in my shoes, would you have a *strong* feeling either way? I am struggling enormously here, and there is no counseling here in my part of the world for this. You ladies are all I have. Hugs to all.