it's worth it, right?

sokoyo

i don't have kids at this point, but i know the love people feel for their kids is out of this world. i know it's an amazing experience. i know it transforms people. i see it all around me.

i have a pre-existing medical issue that will make for a very difficult pregnancy and delivery. not impossible - i've been to see a high-risk OB/GYN who was very lovely and supportive. but definitely scary, painful, and highly medicalized (which i'm sensitive to because my life so far has been filled with crazy medical interventions). all this to say, if i have a kid, i have to REALLY want it.

i want to be a mom, but i guess i'm struggling with taking that leap off the cliff. having a kid will be so complicated for me physically, i'm terrified of my body's ability to handle it. my partner is also quite daunted by the toll it will take on my body. 

i've got a bit of time, but i don't want to push it. i'm definitely starting to hear the clock.

has anyone struggled with the prospect of an unusually complicated journey - the kind where you KNOW it will be difficult before you even start? and how did you jump in despite the fear?