throwing in the towel

6sour6grapes6

...probably. 

she's been on axid for silent reflux since 4.5 weeks, prevacid for 2 weeks, gas drops for 10 weeks, probiotics for 3 weeks, and there's been little change. good days and bad days for us both. I've been dairy free for 6 weeks, soy free for 4. she does take nutramigen. a week ago, she had 2 good days in a row, and beautiful looking stools, and I thought we were finally turning the corner. 5 days ago, mucus in her diaper again, and yesterday a mucusy diaper streaked with green and a spot of blood. today it was mucus again with green streaks and flecks. I started eating oatmeal to help with my supply, since I've had two periods in the past month, and I'm thinking this is what caused this round of pain and horrible gas and ugly diapers. either that, or I had too much bread recently. yesterday I thought I would cut out oats, wheat and gluten. but that's going to be hard without dairy and soy also. I got some stuff at the store yesterday, but there are not many options. so I ate none of the offending foods yesterday, and have gluten-free rice krispies with rice milk and chicken and rice today. I am a single mother, with very little time to do anything. I start back to work tomorrow, and I'll take her to day care.

I'm going to be miserable if I have to eat chicken and rice (or whatever) and it's difficult to cook and pack a lunch and dinner, and pump at work - if I can even keep up a supply without all the dairy, soy, wheat, gluten. I'm at a loss. I want the best for her...if it means nutramigen only, I'll do it. I am finding it very difficult to give up breast feeding. I love the bond, the simplicity, her getting the good properties of my milk, but not if it's causing her pain. I don't think I can eat a very limited diet and keep up my supply and be happy. but maybe I will be happy just knowing that she's happy and not in pain by formula feeding? I know no one can make this decision for me, but I am already mourning.

any thoughts on this?

also...since I'm going cold turkey with this,  how uncomfortable is it going to be with my milk drying up? how long will it take? how do I handle it? TIA