Need Advice (kind of long)

jamieandlori

I have been EPing since my son was born 9 weeks ago.  He was a very sleepy baby and the hospital LC couldn't not get him to latch on and feed without falling asleep.  Once home I continued to pump.  I never really tried to put him to the breast much, since he continued to be a very sleepy baby, and I was feeling very overwhelmed as a FTM.  I LOVE giving my son breast milk, however, I hate pumping!  I pump 7-8 times a day (do not wake at night to pump) for at least 25 minutes a session.  This is 4 hours a day of just pumping!  I feel like pumping is interfering so much with life.  I'm constantly stressed always thinking about needing to pump.  It is such a pain to go anywhere, because not only do I have to pack everything for the baby, but I have to pack my pump, cooler, supplies, etc.  Then I have to time everything with military precision in order to give myself enough time to get from point A to point B before baby is hungry or I have to pump again.  I feel like once I do get anywhere I don't really get to thoroughly enjoy myself, because I have to excuse myself to go pump.  Because of all of this, I normally just stay at home.  I feel bad for not taking my son to see his grandparents more and never doing anything with my husband. I think the biggest thing that bothers me is the fact that I feel like the pumping is interfering with me bonding with my baby.  I don't get to hold and snuggle him, or play with him, like I would like, because I'm always tied to my pump.  This breaks my heart.  I am trying to decide the best way to proceed.  Do I stick it out with the pumping, so I can provide my son with the best health benefits?  Do I spend $210 to go see the LC and hope she can help me in that one visit?  Do I decide to pump till 3 months and then give it up and switch over to formula?  I'm just so torn.  I feel guilty continuing to pump and I feel guilty thinking about giving my son formula.  Anyone who has / is going through this I would love to hear your thoughts. Any advice or suggestions is appreciated.  Thanks.