Mixed feelings after first ultrasound

Justtee33

Today I went for my first ultrasound. I'm going to be a single mom since the father of the baby is my ex and I'm moving across the country in 2 weeks. Long story! Anyway, I've been somewhat ambivalent about this pregnancy. We miscarried at 8 weeks, a little over a year ago with a baby we actually wanted together. Although this current baby was completely unexpected and un-planned, I decided to keep it and he's supportive. He came to the ultrasound today with me.I always read about women so excited to hear the heartbeat and see the baby for the first time. I wasn't super excited. I have a lot of mixed feelings from the miscarriage as well as my single parenting future. The baby seems healthy, measured at 8w3d (I'm 8w4d) with a heartbeat of 180. My glucose level was super high and I'm overweight so that brings up nutrition and exercise.  I'm just not as excited as I hoped to be. I was so much more excited for the first pregnancy. I know I will eventually love and adore and spoil this baby. Just not yet... Anyone else feel similar...?