Today I went for my first ultrasound. I'm going to be a single mom since the father of the baby is my ex and I'm moving across the country in 2 weeks. Long story! Anyway, I've been somewhat ambivalent about this pregnancy. We miscarried at 8 weeks, a little over a year ago with a baby we actually wanted together. Although this current baby was completely unexpected and un-planned, I decided to keep it and he's supportive. He came to the ultrasound today with me.
I always read about women so excited to hear the heartbeat and see the baby for the first time. I wasn't super excited. I have a lot of mixed feelings from the miscarriage as well as my single parenting future. The baby seems healthy, measured at 8w3d with a heartbeat of 180. My glucose level was super high and I'm overweight so that brings up nutrition and exercise.
I'm just not as excited as I hoped to be. I was so much more excited for the first pregnancy. I know I will eventually love and adore and spoil this baby. Just not yet...
Anyone else feel similar...?