Extremely Nervous

bf43005

My Husband & I didn't really want kids and have been married for about 2 years.  We are starting to talk a little more serious about it and said maybe in the next 2 years.  We aren't young, both 30, so if we want to do this now is the time to start trying before we can't (not that it's ever a guarantee).  We have put together a financial plan to clean up our debt & talked about other stuff. 

The one thing I can't get past is my complete and utter fear.  Not just of being a mom but of the whole thing, starting at the moment I know I'm pregnant thru labor and on.  A fear so bad that I get dizzy even reading stories about other moms.  I know that's not normal but I have a very bad anxiety problem and take anti-anxiety meds for different things (like going to the Dr, Dentist, or to have blood drawn).  So if I need meds to get blood taken how would I possibly survive all the tests involved in pregnancy without the aid of meds, which I'm sure I can't take with the baby.  My Dr. is aware of my anxiety but we only briefly talked about getting pregnant at my last check up since we were still on the fence.  I almost think I shouldn't bother to have kids for fear of hurting the child by having such a panic attack it stresses us both out. 

Wondering if there is anyone else out there currently dealing with this or had in the past.  Hoping for some advise on ways to have a baby without freaking out over everything....like having an IV in my arm.