BFing anxiety - help - long

mrs_j_may_08

Also posted on April 2012 BMB.

Hi ladies. I need some help. Backstory-- LO was born tongue tied and wasn't gaining weight because of this. For the past 2 1/2 weeks I've been nursing her 20 min/side, then offering her pumped BM after every feeding to get her weight up. Well, it's worked. The combination of the supplementing and LO getting her tongue clipped has led to her finally being above her birth weight at 1 month old! Yay!

Her pedi said I can only give her the supplement now if she is acting hungry after nursing her. Great, saves me the time of warming up milk for every feeding. But now it seems I'm having quite a bit of anxiety about whether or not she is getting enough. She has always had the required amount of wet/dirty diapers. It seems like she is latching better now that her tongue is fixed. I have met with several LCs and I know how to ensure a good latch, so I don't feel like I need to visit another one of those. She is sometimes lazy at the breast and the anxiety of whether she is getting enough is causing daily/nightly crying episodes from me. We do have a baby scale at home and pedi has instructed me that as long as she is gaining 0.5-1oz per day, she is fine.

I'm just feeling really negatively towards BFing in general. I have to use a shield bc my left side is inverted, and I don't really see ever being able to drop it because my nip just won't stay out for her to latch on to. I've tried using shells to draw it out, I didn't notice much of an improvement. 

I'm considering EPing. It provides me the piece of mind that she is getting X amount of oz. It is so so much quicker than nursing (esp since I am leaving her on there a whole 20 min/side due to the fear that she's not getting enough). It upsets me to have to EP though. I wanted to BF until she was 6 months at least. I know that EPing is hard work. I'd still like the option to BF occasionally but don't know if this is possible if most of her feedings were from a bottle.

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. I'm just at a loss and not sure what I should do. Thanks for any support/advice.