Pregnancy Funk

jeggomyeggo

I was just married in January and our sweet news of a growing baby was not planned. At first, I was very calm, but as these two weeks have progressed (or NOT progressed--it's so weird to me to change my life completely and not really see any outward signs yet), I've experienced the wave of emotions that most do. Happy, scared, remorseful of the lifestyle changes, etc.

My husband was in shock for a few days and then quite obviously FORCED himself to be happy and excited about it. I did appreciate the unwavering positive mindset that he was holding, but our homelife has turned to boooooring... He has been away on business for most of these past two weeks and you know, our weekends together are just different.

Well yesterday I had my first dr appt. It was just for blood and urine samples. We go back in 11 days to see the little jellybean. It was overwhelming for me and erased the shock that I think I've been in for the past 2 weeks, so I just covered my head on my couch and took a nap--DH away on business, so he wasn't at the appt. When I shared my feelings about the whole ordeal (scared, don't want life to change, etc), he freaked on me. He was mad that he's held this positive attitude about it (for like 10 days!) and couldn't believe that I couldn't suck it up and be happy too. I couldn't believe he wanted me to basically lie to him about my emotions. Yesterday I also had my first physical symptoms--hellacious headache and m/s, and I believe a big hormone surge too. I just don't feel like myself.

Today, I'm back at work, the headache is still here, the overwhelming feeling is still here and work is STRESSFUL and I can't call my man because he expects me to be all Martha Stewart about this.

I love the baby. I've changed my eating and health habits 100% since the day I found out, but that doesn't mean that I'm not having a hard time adjusting to all of this.

This is my first post and I'm unloading all of this here because I just don't feel like I have anyone else to tell at this point.