Mother issues, might not want her to visit when baby arrives wwyd?

Orca11

So I have had significant issues with my mother for some time now. 6 years ago my dad asked her for a divorce and she still hasn't agreed to sign anything, and since then, has been a big whack of crazy, mainly taking it out on myself and my 2 siblings. She has called me a failed daughter (after I put my life on hold, purposely got a job nearby so I could stay and live with her to keep her company while she initially went through her denial phase, and provided for her). She has invented reasons to fight with us kids over the years, conspiracy theories, being angry with us for having our own lives 3 years into it, meeting and spending time with dad's new gf, etc. She tried to ruin my wedding last summer by making everything about her (threw a total hysterical tantrum 2 days in a row because I refused to share a bed with her the night before my wedding when I was exhausted, fighting a cold, and btw not interested in sleeping beside my needy mother, and because I hadn't told her that I was having some hemrrhoid issues at the time - which my dad knew about because he teaches medicine and I asked him for some cream- tmi.. but so you get the ridiculousness of it).

Anyway, so in the meantime she is off teaching in Africa because she wanted to run away from her responsibilities. I was on bedrest last week, so she decided that meant I needed to talk to her every day. I dealt with it. My grandfather found out he has cancer last week, my dad's dad, so yesterday when she daily bothered me I mentioned that my dad had called the night before to let me know the good news that my grandfather's tumor could be fully surgically removed and he should be ok, and he would still be able to come visit me in a month or so to see our newborn, his first great grandchild. 2 seconds after I tell her this, she says, umm and so your father called you how? and I said I don't understand what you are asking. And she said well I only have you and your H's cell phones, what other number does everyone else have the privilege of calling you at? I said, wtf? they call my cell, what are you on about? She says.. well you told me not to call your cell to talk, and I said ya, cause you use the internet and you live in Africa, I don't want to take collect calls from africa thank you, you can use skype and things to contact me when I'm online, if you had an emergency, sure call my cell, but why would you otherwise when you just as easily find me online? She yelled at me for about 5 mins about that. Then got upset because I said my sick grandfather was going to come out and visit me and baby before she would get to. Seriously? my 82yr old grandfather you don't think should have a chance to see my baby, when he has genuine care to do so? And you, you finish work in June, and aren't coming here til August, that was your choice, one which I am fine with, but still, your choice. She also called me stupid because I said something about if my dr isn't available to deliver my baby, I'm not concerned, things happen, and I know it will be fine, and the hospital I am going to has great dr's and nurses and they will do whatever is in my best interests, she thinks that everyone who doesn't know me there will rush to induce me and drug me and who knows what else.

Anyway, at this point (thank you for reading this far!), I'm tired, I'm stressed, I know she will come here and plans to stay with us for over a week, and will find more reasons to yell at me for no reason, she will make me miserable when my only priority will be baby. She will make it about her. I want to email her and say look, I've put your feelings first for over 5 years now, and I'm done, me and my baby come first now, so you need to know that I will not put up with your victim attitude, your emotional abuse and guilt trips over nothing, and I will require you to seek mental help as soon as you get back to north america, because you clearly have no capacity to deal with your issues on your own. I don't feel comfortable having you visit me or interacting with my baby without knowing you are willing to take this step and admit it to me, and admit to whatever trained person you see that you do have issues and they are yours, and not the fault of others in every single case you come up with. 

I keep being told by my family to just suck it up, to let her go off the way she does, because she isn't stable, and because I am, I can take it. Well I believe that a person like that cannot begin to BE stable if they aren't forced or approached. I think 6 yrs is enough time to have been left to her own devices, she hasn't made any improvements or moves to better herself and only gets worse at all of our expense. What would you do? Write or call and say something similar to above, or just drop it, knowing that it will never go away, and all you can do is stress and repress, or something else entirely? Thanks