I need advice too...:(

JordanL1221

Hi ladies. Reading your posts have made me feel better as I sit here with tears in my eyes writing this.

 

I'm 22, just graduated last week with my Bachelor's degree, and last month, I found out I was pregnant. This was an unexpected pregnancy as I was on the NuvaRing. When I found out I was PG, my SO was ECSTATIC. I was the one that was extremely freaked out and upset. He is five and a half years older than me, has a wonderful job, and reassured me that "we were on the track of getting married and settling down anyways, we're just doing it a little out of order." I eventually came around when I saw how excited he was. He even bought the baby a travel system and pack and play. He talked about how HE wanted to be married before the baby, and even looked at having a beach wedding June 30th. He is very attentive and very sweet and supportive most of the time. I should also add that we are living together.

Here's the hold-up. His job ends August 1st here. He is in commercial construction and the project that he has been here on since 9/2010 is coming to  a close and he is scheduled to move to his next place. Now, when we found out I was PG, he told me he was ready and eager to put down roots, instead of moving around like  a gypsy every year as he was ready to have a family. He has applied to several jobs nearby and is just awaiting their calls.

So, last night, he text me and says "my sister won't be able to make it to our wedding because she will be in Cabo and I'm not sure my mom will be able to take off work." Then, when he gets home from dinner and a movie with his friend, I can tell something is up. He tells me he is stressed about finding a job that can support me and the baby so that I can be a SAHM. He's worried about insurance (which I'm covered until 26 on my parents) if he changes jobs. He also told me that he is scheduled for his next project to be in his home state of Colorado, which is where he's wanted to have a project for 5 years. He tells me that he's not in his comfort zone, and that I am. Honestly, he TOLD me that he was ready to change companies and start something local to where he could have a good family life, and now it's like he is getting cold feet. He also said that we shouldn't get married this summer as we are "rushing it for the wrong reasons." I'm fine not getting married, but I am scared that he is going to bail. As much as I would like to think he wouldn't, of course, I have to think of the worst case scenario.

I wish he would understand that I want to be where my OBGYN I'm comfortable with is, where my family is to help us out if we need a reprieve, and where his family is only an hour and a half plane ride away (and all parties have the means to make frequent trips). At least for a year or two, then we can move.  I'm just scared and really stressed out. I'm tired of him turning up his nose at jobs I suggest because he thinks he's "too qualified for". While he might be, it's not ALL about money. He makes 80k now, and these jobs are 65k. We have no debt except his "weekend" car payment (mine is paid and his truck is paid) and our housing is about $1000 a month. It's totally doable on that salary. I think it may be a pride issue. I just don't know why he did a total 180 on what he wanted in the matter of 24 hours, and it's breaking my heart.

 

Any insight or words of advice would help me so much. Thank you in advance.