Last couple weeks with just DS and feeling guilty/like a bad mom :(

cs1007

I have a RCS 2 weeks from today and I am feeling really guilty/bad for DS. I am tired, irritable, uncomfortable, and I just don't feel like 'playing' sometimes. I am a SAHM so we are together constantly. he is a super mama's boy, and he does not play very well on his own...even when he does, I feel guilty and join him-even though I know he needs to learn to be independant.

On top of that, I am so emotional, sometimes I just look at him and cry, jusrt thinking about how it is not goingt o be just 'us' anymore...I obviously don't want him to see me upset, so i have to leave the room so he won't see...Just the thought of being in the hospital away from him is killing me. We have never been apart, wit the exception of one night when I was in a wedding away.

I am also having anxiety about caring for him once DS#2 is here and recovering from a c-section. I have been on the c-section boards, and they actually make me feel worse when I am reminded of how you are supposed to take it easy, not do stairs, can't lift anything. DS is just so active, I do not know how I am going to do it. My DH is taking a week, but most of that time will be spent in the hospital, and my sister just started a new job, so can't help/take time. My mom lives 2+ hours away, and will have DS when I am in the hospital but will not be helping after.

I am really worried-any advice or encouraging words please???