Feel like I'm living in a cloud... (vent)

BuckeyeWife07

Sorry girls, but I just need to vent it out to somebody who understands! Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way? I remember feeling so clear and driven at this point in my pregnancy with DD, but with this LO I feel like I'm constantly in a "cloud." 

I'm ALWAYS exhausted, even if I do sleep for 6+ hours and all the stress in my life and to do lists are just making me even more exhausted. I barely have the energy to think about it all. Right now I have a step-cousin who was just taken off of life support, my aunt (who I am super close to and whose four kids are like my siblings) suffered a massive stroke due to an aneurysm last Wednesday and is still very unstable. I went 2 1/2 down to see her on Thursday and Friday, abandoning a LOT of work. And then this weekend I had to be the happy SIL for her bachelorette party and everything at 34 weeks pg. And I'm trying to be all interested and happy about her wedding and plans, but it's just so hard. (and I need to find someone to alter my dress for the wedding yet, which is in less than two weeks)

Now I've been back at work for these two days and I just want to cry every single time I look at my to do this. I don't want to put on my happy face and make phone calls or send cheery email. I'm exhausted and grumpy. I have about four massive projects that all have to be COMPLETED before I leave to have this baby and I just don't know how I'm going to get it done. Especially with the lack of energy and drive I have these days. 

Then I get home and realize I'm SO FAR from being ready for this baby to come, despite the fact that I feel like crap and my braxton hicks are getting worse every day. At this point I don't even know where our car seat or baby things are... let alone do I have them ready for a baby. DD is still in the baby's room and her room is no where near being ready for her. 

This morning I actually was thinking that it might be nice if I got a little sick or something happened that I could just sit at home and rest for one full day by myself. How horrible is that?! I have absolutely no time to myself until after SIL's wedding Mother's Day weekend... and then I'm almost 37 weeks and it's time to have a baby! OMG!

OK, I'm sorry and God bless you if you made it this far... it feel much better to get that off my chest. Maybe I can start to breathe just a tiny bit....