Encouragement needed, please share

rocknrollfriend

Hi everyone. I am a FTM and I've been lurking on this board a lot lately. I'm really struggling with breastfeeding, physically but mostly emotionally. I am trying to deal with a forceful letdown that sometimes makes my LO scream at my breast and it just makes me feel like a horrible mother. I've been reading the LLL and kellymom articles and looking for advice here, and I might call a LC today about it. Last night I pretty much lost it, I couldn't soothe his crying and had to wake up DH in hysterics. I feel like if I had a clearer head I could deal with it better - like this morning, after a good stretch of sleep, we had a pretty good nursing session, although they have become really long (nearly 2 hours now to nurse, burp, nurse, change, nurse, burp, etc...). My breasts almost always feel engorged and my letdown hurts (is that normal??). I just hate my body right now and I hate breastfeeding except for those little moments of peace. I'm hoping you all can share some encouraging stories to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really really want this to work but I feel like quitting right now.