Baby shower control!!

Alexlouise

   My mother who i've had many problems getting along with wants to throw me a shower. She wants it to be traditional and I wanted co-ed. I want it to be more like a birthday party for the unborn baby. She is saying I cannot control the shower (which I dont want to). I just wanted a little say. So now I have to have two showers one traditional one for her and one with the rest of my family and friends. What she is not understanding is the only ones to show up to hers will be my immediate family. I didnt want to have two showers, but I feel like I have to just to involve everyone that I want. Advice??