Freaking the eff out about money

nerdbaby

This is going to be a train of thought going nowhere vent/rant, so thanks in advance for humoring me... We both work but I'm the breadwinner in our household and DH is going to part time status right before the baby is born. We make enough to be stable and have the occasional indulgence by we are by no means swimming in the dough. Provided nothing catastrophic happens we should be able to make it through this pregnancy and birth relatively unscathed financially. We'll be paying bills for a while I'm sure, but we should be able to handle it. Should. But I'm going out for 6 weeks and I have the world sh!ttiest maternity leave and we'll basically be without my pay for two months minimum and I really just don't know how this is going to work.. how are we going to live life and pay bills and put gas in the car and a million other things that we haven't even foreseen that I'm sure are coming.. and did I mention we're moving into a bigger house to accommodate our growing family and while the mortgage isn't going up that much, it is still going up.. and the utilities will follow suit.. and we have two dogs and one's getting older, what if she ends up needing something above and beyond the norm... what if the baby gets sick.. what if I get sick.. what if DH gets sick... what if my delivery goes nothing like how we have planned or hoped and I'm out of work even longer... seriously how are we going to be able to afford this and still feed ourselves and save money and send this kid to camp one day.. how can our expenses go up and income go down and we survive? Even though we figured it out before and I'm pretty sure DH would hustle 24-7 to provide for our family, nobody wants that and I need him, the baby needs him.. I can't breastfeed and walk the dogs by myself!  It feels like I have a family of gorillas camped out on my chest all day long.. I worked so hard to put myself through school and actually become something and I was doing it and able to take care of myself and afford a house and the occasional trip to wherever and happy hour and a pair of shoes when the mood struck and now I'm thanking God for the ability (hopefully) to feed this baby for free because I honestly don't know how to pay every bill we have and keep her alive any other way.

Aaaaand... I think I'm done, but really I'll just be sitting here trying to distract myself with everyone else's gender predictions and name polls and whatever else is going on to keep me from going insane.  Thanks for reading.