A bit off topic, but maybe other ladies have advice.

ashleyann331

I'm 20 weeks pregnant, and adjusting to being single (going through a divorce) and trying to manage my bills and finances, and looking for a job. Needless to say, I have a lot on my plate. The marriage was a joke, he turned out to be the most emotionally damaging person I have ever met. I'm okay without him (much better off), but Im left feeling like an empty shell. He makes good money, yet is refusing to even claim the baby just to get out of paying the minuscule bills for the baby (I'm still on my mom VERY good insurance) and I hear how hes out buying new expensive items and even considering buying a BRAND NEW $60,000 truck. It's not just about the money, its the fact that I'm struggling and my parents have had to help me because he won't be a man. He's emotionally nonsupport, almost mean about the fact that I'm having HIS baby and one day hes going to have to step up. Hes called me horrible names, told people things about me that aren't true- no I don't care about what they think but it hurts that he was my husband and I'm having his baby yet he sinks that low. Then his crazy mother gets involved and tells me I'm unfit to be a mother (she knows I've had issues with depression, but seriously, who hasn't?) and tells me SHE is going to take the baby from me. I know its empty threats and ways of making me feel bad, but its working. After all I'm a pregnant gal- we all take things to heart. 3 years ago I was happy, I had a good job with extra money, had a very busy social life, was (in my opinion) very attractive. Then (3 years ago) I got depressed. I gained 50 pounds and quit caring about my looks and social life. When I started feeling (slightly) better I started dating my now STBXH. He was perfect at first, then slowly everything changed he seemed to keep me at just enough of a rope to think I was happy, but I wasn't looking back. Now that I'm 5 months pregnant, and alone I'm afraid I will never be the same again. I'm scared this is how I will always feel, and that this is as good as my life will ever be. I love my baby, and of course plan on being the best mom I can be. I just want to be social and attractive again. I want to feel good again but I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel and it seems so overwhelming. Anyone else been through this?