Lurker and Confused. (little long)

ohheyallie

      Like I said i have lurked on this board a few times but mainly I stay over on the blended family board. I am married and My H and I have a 2 year old DC. My H also has a DC from a previous marriage. We have been together 3 year and rushed into everything. Our marriage has not been perfect and rather difficult during my pregnancy. I am considering leaving him but hurt and confused at the same time. I have had trust issues for a while with him and the latest has pushed me over the edge. I left a few weeks ago for the weekend with my DC to go visit my sick uncle out of town. I come home to find that my husband has been trying to "hook-up" on line with other people while I was gone through various websites. such as craigslist and fling. I don't have proof that he has cheated but i am also not an idiot.

       I have a good  job and an extremely supportive family im just scared to finally pull the trigger. I will say this. My H is a good man. We have fights yes every couple does. But H does make a strong effort to make me happy. I just don't see why I am not enough. Going into our relationship we have always had two rules. No lying and no cheating. If either of those happened we go our separate ways. Like I said I have no proof he has physically cheated but over the past 3 years plenty of this have happened which would lead me to believe that he has. Im not stupid.

      I don't know what im really asking for here. I just have no one to talk to about this and im so confused. I only want to provide the best life for my DC. and dont know if staying is the best choice but then again if breaking up the family is the best choice. I would also be at a loss if I could no longer see my SC. I have been a great wife and stood through a whole lot of crap and pushed through. I just dont think I have it in me to keep pushing anymore. 

     Thank you all for taking the time to read this. It feels better just to get it all out there.