Birthday Party Delima

cwtbam

DS turns 4 in 8 days. He has been asking for a horsey birthday party (infact planning it himself for months now). I have a whole cowboy themed party for the Roo man the Sunday afternoon that I get him back from the x. Well now the X is planning a huge party for him at a petting zoo.

I have a few issues with this. 

1. I don't think this is really a party for DS, well it is, but it is more like, he's throwing this big party to make himself look good. On the nights that he has DS, half of those he is out drinking/gambling and DS is with his XMIL. IMO this is a party to make him feel like a better Dad (I could be wrong, but IDK).in addition, he doesn't pay support (it is written in the divorce  papers like this) but he is supposed to pay for his health insurance. Which I just found out from the agent that he canceled in Dec and didn't say a damn thing about it. So now DF and I have started a policy for him and are paying for it, with hopes X will at least pay for half,  *(like it's written in for other medical, dental and vision costs, but have no fingers crossed).  It's like, you are going to throw this huge party, yet you aren't willing to pay for his health insurance? 

2. DS "inbited" DF and I to go. Which if there wasn't pre-exsisting issues, we would love to go, anything for DS.. DF is more of a Dad that the X ever has been to DS, we don't speak. As much as I love my son, I don't know if I can swallow a party with the X's family, especially after not speaking to any of them  for the last 2.5 years.  We keep telling DS we'll see what the day brings, but he's three, he doesn't understand.  This has just made it hard and awkward, especially putting DS in the spot where he knows he asked us to come and we may not. Then what is he going to think and have his poor little feelings hurt.

I guess I'm just in a hard spot here. I know we should go, but at the same time, hell no am I going, We don't speak, at all, other than you running our names through the dirt all of over town to make yourself look better.  I suppose this is more of a vent, but anyone have any suggestions? Thoughts? I appreciate them ..