Feeling like this pregnancy is ruined.

yaykarin

I'm at 36 weeks today, and probably just feeling prenanc-e-motional, but I'm feeling really down about this 2nd pregnancy today.

With my 1st pregnancy I eagerly took photos on a scheduled time, I went to the beach with my family for a maternity photo shoot, we were already ordering personalized little name items for our daughter's nursery before she was even born, and this time has just been so different.

Due to a severe lack of boys in both my and my husband's family there is SO much pressure from everyone on us to have a boy that I didn't want to deal with 20 weeks of people's disappointment, so this time I opted to not find out the sex.

Exciting and fun, except my Grandfather - who has been calling this baby bump "little brother" -  was suddenly just diagnosed with terminal cancer and doesn't even know if he'll last the 4 weeks until my due date. So now he wants to know, my husband begrudgingly agreed to do the surprise thing to begin with so he wants to know, but I just don't think it's a good idea.

But besides this whole gender disaster, overall I'm just now realizing this pregnancy is almost over there are hardly any photos of me at all, we tried for ONE family/maternity portrait at a studio which was a flop because you couldn't even tell I was pregnant (at 33 weeks, mind you), and if/when my Grandfather passes I feel like I will look back at this time not as joyful but as that immensely difficult time when I lost the closest Father Figure I had in my life.

Anyone else have major crises during their pregnancy?