What choice do i have?

deirdrebrydon

I have a 5 m/o baby boy and he is beautiful, but his father and i have argued about his drinking for years, he did stop at one point and then again, I was naive and thought when the baby was born things would change, but he still wants to drink every single weekend, and gets nasty and doesnt even make sense when he talks. I love him when he is sober and I have been with him for 7 years, but he will not stop, and he is doing better but it doesnt matter anymore I will NOT raise my child in that enviroment, especially with all the fighting. The day we brought our son home from the hospital I found an empty pint bottle in our son's stuff, he had been drinking in the hospital bathroom. My dreams of a happy family were gone, and I should have left then but how do u do that when you are recovering from birth. SO now I finally after years of abuse get up and leave and move in with my mom (which is not fun) and then his family gets upset with me!!! Probably because now they will have to support his ass as he has no place no live, a part time job and a serious drinking problem. I wanted this to work and be a family, but i had no choice, but sometimes i still wonder if it was the right thing to tear my family apart. i just desperately hope that someone out there understands or can relate, i am so depressed and i find frustrated with my son, i yelled at him a couple of days ago for the first time, and i have never felt so awful, jsut doing this alone is so hard, and i dont want to be so lonely, but i tell myself that i was just as lonely living with this man and his addiction, right? btw i am 23 and have a job to go back to