horomones....(vent)

sammylee007

all of these horomones are making me miserable! i realize i havent been ideal to my partner but omg he doesnt even live here with me! the reason he is away is totally reasonable, but when hes here i feel selfish, like i just want him to be with me. i would like to think that i have handled perfectly well since he has been gone, and it just kills me that i am the bad guy when hes here and i want him to be with me, and i want us to spend the very little time in my pregnancy that we have together. all i ever hear is "i spend every moment i am here with you". and it makes me feel selfish. we have spent a total of one month together throughout the whole pregnancy, i am 26 weeks. its been hard for me and the horomones dont help. i am constantly (feels like it anyway) going off about being alone and not feeling supported. dont know why i bother it doesnt get me anywhere. i am a ftm and i never saw my first pregnancy being spent alone. i try to be rational, but it is very hard at times. 

to add in some positivity i am very proud of myself for being independent despite everything. i guess i just needed a good vent. thanks.