SAHM Considering separation. Please help me think this through?

ThrowawayAccount30

Hi all,

I'm a stay at home mom with a 2 year old daughter.  I'm seriously considering leaving my husband, but I have a few concerns that I haven't found answers to.

My husband makes pretty good money but if I move into an apartment with our daughter both households would have to seriously cut spending.  I grew up poor and am capable of living off of little, but he's always been pretty well off so I doubt his ability to stick with a budget.  

We have enough in savings for DD and I to live off of for 6 months if necessary, but I have no idea how he'll react to news of us moving out.  I've considered draining the accounts but that really gets us off on the wrong foot...  

All of my past work experience is in an industry with decent pay but very long and irregular hours.  It would be difficult to find a daycare willing to take DD during all hours of the day or night, and it would probably be cost-prohibitive.  I also can't imagine uprooting her entire life by moving out of our house and not seeing her dad every day, then sticking her in a daycare for the first time while I go back to work 60+ hours per week...  She's very sensitive and has some anxiety issues.

I have no family and few very close friends in this state.  DD and I would be welcomed into my parent's home (all the way across the country) but then she'd really never see her dad and there really isn't room for us in their home.  Would it even be legal for me to move her out of state without DH's permission anyway?

He's a decent father but a really $hitty husband. I don't want to completely cut him out of DD's life.  

Any thoughts?