What is 'normal' custody of a 2 yr old?

lillypots

First off - I am a long time lurker, hello ladies

So right now I am still married although my H is living with his parents as we are separated due domestic violence.  We are left to work out custody using a 3rd party (his mother), because per his bail restrictions he is not allowed to contact me in any way.  We have a 2 yr old son.  His mother emails me saying (telling me more like it) that "they" (as in my H and his parents) want him from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening or even Monday morning.  Ummm... no.  

What sort of visitation do parents of toddlers have?  I was thinking more like 2 afternoons (like 4 hours each) a week, or maybe one afternoon and one half day on a weekend.  Maybe an overnight like once a month.

 What is also making me angry (and not wanting any of them to even see my child!) is that his mother has not even said anything to me about the fact that her son has been abusive to me for 4+ years.   I don't know ... I put myself in her shoes and imagine if my son did that to his wife - I would be beyond mortified.  I would support my son but I would also be firmly on the woman's side!  Violence is never ok (not like I "did" anything to deserve or provoke it anyways).  

 We will be having a meeting soon to determine custody and I want to know what is the norm.  Thanks ladies!