Wanting to be selfish. . vent

shrtfrkgrl

Since I can remember, I have always felt that when I do have a baby and go into labor I wanted it to be my DH and I. I feel like this is a special time for the mother and the father the day of delivery. DH and I had an argument once about it, which pissed me off even moer that we were arguing because I told him WAAY before we even thought of having children how I felt.

Now I have talked to SIL a while back about the same thing, at the time it seemed like she agreed with me. But today DH talked to her about and he said she seemed upset. I know when . . . I mean if we tell people how I feel about this and I think they are all going to be pissed and act like babies and I am going to give in and just let them have their way and me feel miserable. I don't want to give in (I am not a strong willed speak your mind type of person. I hate confortation I give in to make everyone happy and shut the freaking whining). I really don't want anyone the first day, even if they agreed I think they still would do whatever they wanted (my family and DH's family). They really don't have any respect for people's wishes.

One of my reasons (which probably is stupid and crazy) is that my mom cannot be there. She died when I was 7 years old. I know I have my family and his family, but it isn't the same to me. I have made a lot of sacrifices to my feelings because of this. I just pushed it aside and let things be. But I want to have my way in this aspect. I shouldn't have to explain my self and I don't want to have to people do whatever they wanted. UGH! Thanks for letting me vent.