Am I supposed to *ask* for a baby shower?

course11

I'm in an odd situation. This is our first baby so I don't know what baby shower etiquette is. I've heard that mom-to-be isn't supposed to do anything but provide a guest list.

I guess this assumes friends or family will take the initiative to actually throw a shower? I don't know what to make of the fact that at Christmastime my mother-in-law and sister-in-law asked me if one of my friends was planning a shower for me. When I said "no", they intimated that they would throw one.

But since then I haven't heard a peep from them, and a few people have started asking if I'm having a shower. I wind up saying "um, well, I'm not sure" or "no plans at the moment." 

In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do! I don't want to *force* anyone to throw a shower for me (let alone my in-laws), but I have to admit I'm a little hurt that nothing seems to be in the works.

I'll certainly survive if we don't have one -- I realize I'm not entitled to one -- but it does feel disappointing. I survived breast cancer a year and a half ago, and we weren't really sure if/when we would be able to have kids, so there's a lot to celebrate.

Do I need to point-blank ask MIL/SIL to throw one? (That feels so totally gauche and gift-grabby that I don't want to!) Do I organize my own? Do I let it lie and just deal with my feelings of disappointment if nothing comes to pass?