eep!! 18th week.. but wow.

martinezbby10

This is my first day in the 18th week, this is so exciting, but my God i feel like time has slipped right from underneath me. 

i've always thought as pregnancy as the perfect time to get your crap together, one reason -u kinda gotta:P but another that angel in you is amazing motivation. So thats what i've been doing; coming to terms with bad habbits, slowing them down to eventually cut them loose all together. Its difficult at best!! and then doing my best to gain self awareness, coming to grips with things, settling old grudges, being more positive, adopting new ideas, letting people go. BASICALLY just becoming exactly that woman i see myself as only without the huge road blocks affecting my progress. Dont get me wrong, i am prepared to be a mum, somedays -even before my unexpected blessing- i felt i needed* to be. but my God, i am so nervous of mistakes i will make!! i only wish for my little one to come into this world healthy as can be, with a easy comfy transition, to know her presence is deeply appreciated and that she can trust me, i only hope she will someday understand that i have a loving respect- for her, i mean she is after all that one little sperm that fought and made it, then grew like a champ in my belly and i bet you anything being pushed through a womans body is quit the intense experience! lol. 

I only want to be her miracle- just as she is mine.

I wonder if she knows, as she is doing flippy-floppers in my tummy [right now:'] how much i already love her.  

So little time- but i got this... cant wait to hold angel babe in my arms!!