IL Vent/Advice Needed

mamameg11

So my inlaws have never made me feel that they really like me. Sure they were glad their son got married, but I have never felt truly accepted by them. They don't respect me as a parent, are completely passive agressive with me/say rude things to me when my husband isn't around, don't acknowledge or say hi to me when we skype, etc. They basically pretend like I don't exist unless they need something from me. The list of how they have treated me poorly over the last 7 years is long. Anyhow, I have been involving my husband lately due to the zero respect they show me as a parent and because they ignore our schedule for our daughter who they exhaust/dehydrate/starve to the point of her getting sick every time we see them (they live in another state, but visit 5+ times a year). Well, apparently they feel I need to be more "tolerant" of them and basically told my husband  they think I'm being unfair/unreasonable. Mind you, all I am asking for is that she get one nap a day and is given enough food and drinks to keep her healthy while they visit! I let them keep her up late and drag her all over the place for whatever activities they want to do - I'm seriously no tyrant. And they have had 2.5 yrs to watch how we parent our daughter, so none of this should be new stuff to them. Well after they had that conversation with my husband they have ignored me completely (noticeably more than normal) for a solid 6 weeks. Then I get 2 line email yesterday from my MIL, asking "how are you feeling" (I had bad morning sickness) and then "please make sure you watch for an important package we mailed to your daughter". So really she emailed me about the package and not to ask about me, which is very typical of her. I'm just kind of over them and do not feel like responding to her email at all. I usually do whatever I need to do to keep the peace with them, but after what they said to my husband and how they've completely ignored me for almost 2 months, I just feel like I don't owe them anything anymore. My personal rule has always been to treat my inlaws how I would want my parents to be treated (I have a crazy SIL who makes my mom cry all the time), but I am just tired of always being the nicer person and going out of my way to keep them involved in what's going on in our family, since they obviously don't appreciate it or me. Is it wrong if I just start treating them the way the treat me?!