Ultrasound day... not as expected.

sarbear10101

Talk about the wind being knocked out of your sails... we went in for an U/S on Friday afternoon at 21 weeks SOOOOO excited to see baby.  Everything looked great until the U/S tech could only find one umbilical artery.  So, onto a perinatologist we go for further testing.  As if that wasn't enough scary and anxiety producing information, she also shared with us she noticed a little dark spot on the baby's heart, which is called Ecogenic Cardiac Focus.  This could mean absolutely nothing, or it could mean a chromosomal disorder of some sort.  The ultrasound tech was the only person we spoke to, so we didn't get to hear our odds of DS as some people have on other boards, or any other form of reassurance at all.  She took our phone number and said the Perinatologist would call us to schedule an appointment.

So naturally I called the Perinatologist at 0800 Monday morning, telling them we received just enough information to torture us, and the receptionist squeezed us into the schedule this week. 

Saturday I was a basket case.  Sunday a little better, and Monday and Tuesday I really felt at peace.  Baby had two kidneys and four heart chambers and everything else looked great (I think) but this knowing something is not right yet not knowing anything at all is torturing me today.  Of course all I can do is google and read even more terrifying stories.  Does anyone have any experience with this?  How will I know whether to get an amnio or not?  

I don' t personally know any DS kids, but have read they're a true blessing... why am I having the hardest time imagining that for my baby?  I'm a surgical nurse so the thought of something physically wrong requiring surgery doesn't scare me nearly as much.  I don't want to be upset for my baby's sake... the little nugget has enough to do with growing up healthy and strong and I don't want him/her to "think" I would love them any less if we are dealing with a disorder.

Any words of reassurance/wisdom would be so much appreciated.   xx