Who to have in the delivery room

LibrarianErin

I'm 31 weeks and at the time of trying to decide who to have in the delivery room. Other than my healthcare people, I'm allowed 2 people in the room (but I don't need 2 people if I don't want them)

My husband is a fantastic support and will be my main 'coach' and person there. But I can't help but feel like I'd like a back up around if he needs to run to the washroom, or go to the cafeteria etc. 

Is this silly? Should I just have him and leave it at that?

I have a midwife, and she has an intern. So they will be my medical support. My midwife is lovely, and experienced, but she's never had a baby (neither has the intern) so I'm left feeling like it might be nice to have someone in the room who has actually given birth....

 

I'm really puzzled on this:

My mom and I are not close, but I think she will be hurt not to be included. She is.... unreliable at best, but sometimes surprises me. She also tends to stress me out, but she's still my mom, so of course I love her, and sometimes (when she's able to give it) I really appreciate her support.

I have no sisters so that's out.

My dad actually asked if he could be involved. While I was growing up, we were very close. I'd love to give him the opportunity to be involved, but there just seem to be too many ... revealing things about birth that I'm not comfortable with him seeing... No matter how much I know he loves me... I'm touched by his desire to help, honestly I am. But he comes with his wife (who stresses me out as well) and I don't like that.... And I guess, since one of my goals is to have someone in the room who has actually given birth, Dad doesn't quite do the trick.

 I have a friend who offered to be there. She's an amazing person. She's a nurse. She has 4 kids (2 she birthed without pain meds, which is my goal) But, she lives in Texas (I live in Canada) and I'm not sure how we'd make sure she was there. She's also a friend from church... and I'm terrified I'll swear up a storm in front of her in the stress of the moment... which I don't want to do.

 I have another friend who has offered to be there. She's given birth to twins and a single baby. I'm close with her, and I'm not afraid to say things around her. She lives in town and says she can be there. She was present for her sister's delivery too, so she has experience that way. But in the case of both friends I'm terrified that I'll never repair the relationship with my mom, potentially really hurt my dad, and have a terrible time keeping my MIL (who I DON'T want there) away if she knows I have a random friend in the room. I'm sure that won't make sense to her.

 

Just 2 years ago, my sister in law had a baby and she had her mom and her husband in the room. Immediately after birth (and I mean right away) we were all allowed in: Brothers, Sisters, Brothers in law sisters in law grandparents partners. It was crazy. I don't even want to let anyone know the baby is here until I've had an hour at least of recovery and skin to skin time with the baby. And I want it to be a special time with my husband for us to bond as a family. But I feel that my SIL set a precident that will be hard to break....

 

Ack. Sorry for the long post. Any input would be greatly appreciated. I'm really worried about this...