I'm alone,scared, and depressed.

ashleyann331

Hi,

I'm new to this and just reaching out to anyone in the same situation for advice.

I'll give you a little background. I got married in May of this year to someone who I think I always knew wasn't right (shouldn't have married him I know) He has a baby girl from before. I've recently had some depression issues pre-pregnancy and the marriage was kind of rocky from day one. I'm 23, and am legally still married. My STBX served me with papers (not even legal ones,he didn't take them to the courthouse or anything) and has had very little to do with me ever since, which is easy since he works far away. I found out I was pregnant the Saturday after Thanksgiving and for about two weeks he acted like he was happy about everything. Then the bomb dropped, he has been talking to his ex girlfriend the entire time we were together, apparently they had plans to move in together and everything, and honestly thats the least horrible I've heard. I know you should never listen to what people say but its so horrible. This girl has told people they are planning a wedding, and talking about a baby and everything. I was a good wife, I cooked and cleaned and care for his little one like she was my own. I did everything I thought I was supposed to. Hes made it very clear that he doesn't want this baby and acts like he thinks that hes not the dad (I'm pretty sure he knows its his but to save face hes saying that) I know I shouldn't care about him but I feel like its impossible. I feel like if I just keep trying then maybe everything will be okay, even when he makes it clear he doesn't want to even try. I've moved back in with my parents and am pretty broke. I'm terrified of being a single mom, and I'm starting to wonder if I will be able to be a good mom to this baby because I'm putting so much thought into this pathetic divorce and someone who doesn't give me the time of day. I feel depressed and alone all the time. I cry daily and break down a lot and call him. I was never like this before and I don't understand why I'm like this now. I don't know what is wrong with me that I can't make marriage work. Is it normal pregnancy hormones? Or have I lost my mind? I don't see how I can make this all better and how long its going to take to be over it.