VENT POST.

Amberrrr

I'm falling apart. Last night I found myself making lunches for everyone at 2 in the morning.. I almost made no attempt to sleep at all, but I did. For three hours.. Yay!.... I just took my first dump in a week... thanks to craploads of Miralax and Orange juice, FINALLY. I've been having such horrific charlie horses in my inner thighs I swear I might scream the next time one throws me off track again. I'm 34 weeks and I keep thinking (for some reason) that i'm 37. I'm like 'yeahhh I'm almost done!', but really I have over a month left to go still. Wondering how I'm going to make it through because I already feel like a complete whale and I'm just ready to hold my baby. I long for the day that I can put on a pair of jeans and a shirt I actually like, and feel good about it! I'm dying to get some real house cleaning done, I mean I want to break out the bleach and really get at the showers, and forget the swiffer, I wanna get on my hands and knees and really scrub my tiles! I'm dying to take the windows out and wash them. And everything else.... But nothing big ever seems to get crossed out. I want to paint the entire house and I'm GOING CRAZY for it but we don't know what colors to get yet. Grrr....... It just feels like there's so little time left, and then sometimes I feel like I'm getting nothing done. But I am. It just takes time. I always say 'patience is a virtue', but I haven't been very patient lately. Promise my hormones will go back to normal and I will go back to how I used to be before I got pregnant? I used to be laid back. Now I'm like 'AHHHH LET'S DO THIS NOW NOW NOW!' -_-

I'm really tired. Maybe I'll go take a nap..