Do you ever...??

DHYGchica3

Do you ever question your choices? In regards to divorce/custody/etc.

I know STBXH is a manipulative @$$ with no self control, but sometimes when I spend enough time away from him I remember who it was I fell in love with, and it makes me deeply sad, hurt, and even miss him a little.

I know he's manipulating me when he calls and txts everyday saying he misses DS and that he wants to see him. Part of me is stupid enough to believe him when he says "I could never hurt you or L." He's just so unstable, and I know that, but it gets to me sometimes and I feel like L deserves to have his dad in his life and that I shouldn't fight for full physical and legal custody. But deep down I KNOW it's the right thing for L to be kept away from him unless it's supervised.

Of course as soon as I spend any amount of time with him, my opinion quickly goes back to thinking he deserves everything he's getting. 

The short of is, what do you do when you feel that way? Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes I just feel like the biggest idiot in the world for letting him play my emotions when I know he never wants to be together again, he just likes how I make everything easy peasy for him. :