I had a breakdown last night

res932

After what ended up being just a horrible week I broke down in tears last night. Last weekend DS was having horrible gas and was just crying in pain constantly. After we got that figured out and settled down (dr. thinks maybe the antibiotic I was taking affected LO also), then I started having milk supply problems. It was to the point where I was about to give up BF. DS also has reflux so we have been trying to figure that out. After that, DS started getting up at 4:30 and staying up, plus not taking a nap in the afternoon. This is all on top of having to go see a therapist in order to try and figure out SS's adjustment issues. Then, yesterday after not taking a nap and me finding out I am going back to work on Monday (although I work from home  I work 2-3 hours a day) I was already stressed out. Then DS started nonstop crying. Unless I was holding him he wouldn't sleep and just screamed. I got him to fall asleep and he was in a nice deep sleep so I set him in the bouncy. Within 10 minutes he was awake and screaming again. While I was making his bottle I ended up spilling the milk. I am using milk I had frozen until the antibiotic clears my system, but it is going to be tight and spilling the milk didn't help. I just broke down in tears and then went to our bedroom and cried and cried.

Sometimes I just feel like I am not cut out to be a mom, much less a good one. I feel like everything just builds up until I break. Dealing with the no sleep and now a baby that is crying sometimes is just too much. I hate hearing him cry, especially when I don't know what I can do to help him. Everyone keeps saying it will get easier, but I just dont know when. DH got up with DS all last night so I could sleep but I am still feeling tired and down today. Maybe I am starting PPD. I don't know, but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed.Although, when DS is happy then I feel happy and confident too.

Does anyone else feel this way? Does it get better? What did you do to try and make it better?