Things people shouldn't say to me

zxe1106

Sorry this is a long vent. 

So I'm fuming about the stupid things that people have said to me this week about my scheduled c-section in a few weeks.  I have gestational diabetes and have a low iron/blood count and have had various other complications this pregnancy.  This is my first.  

Since I don't particularly care for visitors during my recovery from my major surgery (which I am really resenting people thinking that just because you are having the surgery for a positive reason *newborn baby* that it's somehow easier to dismiss as not "real" surgery), I have told my doctor that I do not want visitors for at least the first 24 hours (who btw is totally awesome and supportive and told me even if I didn't have a c-section I could tell them she said no visitors), and I have already told both families that is the policy.  So here is what both sides of grandparents have said:

DH's parents asked if I was serious about them not being able to come to the hospital to visit for the first day.  I say yes.  Then FIL says, "You mean we can't even come see the baby?"

"Yes."-Seriously, did I stutter?-no visitors.  Our hospital has a lock down maternity unit and the nursery is actually behind the nurses station so you can't even see the babies when they are in there.  Plus they allow rooming which we will probably try to take advantage of.  Oh, and thanks for making it obvious that you really don't care about me.  But that's for a different post.

Then they start to talk about if I could just deliver earlier then I could have a vaginal birth and then they could come earlier to visit.  *btw the reason we are definitely having a c-section is because with his size already, he will not fit through my pelvis and we have to wait so his lungs are developed enough.*   They say this and I want to flip out.  You'd rather risk his health and life and be born earlier than he already will be just so you can visit one day sooner???  Really... he's already coming out 11 days sooner than his due date.  Get real.

Then my mother who birthed 6 children without meds vaginally has tried to make me feel guilty about needing a c-section.   She tells me she thinks I can fit him through my vagina.  I tell her my doctor doesn't think so.  I yell at her cuz I'm so frustrated about everyone thinking that vaginal births are so superior and like I'm a failure.  It's either I deliver now and he can't breathe on his own but he comes out the "right" way, or I deliver later via c-sect and he is healthier.  Btw these comments are not the only things said to me by both parties.

Yes, surgery will suck.  My DH had cancer diagnosed late 2010 and since then has had 5 major surgeries, 3 of them during this pregnancy.  So I know how bad it can be.  But as bad as I will feel healing from this surgery, I would feel worse having a baby that was sick or worse because I chose to try a vaginal delivery against medical advice just because it's "natural."   So I wish the comments they are making would stop, because it's not like I'm doing this for some superficial reason like I just don't want to deal with labor or I don't want a stretched out vagina.  I'm doing this because I want a healthy baby, even if that means I have to subject myself to more pain and complications.